I struggle with trying to be the "real me."
For as long as I can remember I have tried to be what everyone else wants and that identity is FINALLY starting to shed itself.
In the past, I have felt resentful about becoming a mother because I felt I wasn't ready. I felt like there were so many things I wanted to do that I now wouldn't get to because I'm a mom.
Now, I can feel thankful for being a mom because it has forced me to look within myself so much to cause my old identity to die a slow death while my new self (well really my true self) births itself into the world.
I never knew becoming a mom would actually allow me to evolve into the version of me I always desired to become. It's funny how life works sometimes because were taught to think of curveballs as unfortunate shifts off the path we are supposed to be on. Well, becoming a mother unexpectedly has taught me that there's no such thing as curveballs because in essence they're simply re-directions. Just like your GPS redirects you when you decide upon a new route so does life. Sometimes we choose a new path consciously and sometimes we don't.
In my heart I believe that The Universe knew of my desires to live a life full of love, gratitude and abundance, but in order to achieve such greatness things had to shift drastically in my life in ways I couldn't even imagine to make the new pieces fit together.
My old identity had to die.
So, that's where I am at right now. I feel I am just past the peak. I have just started the "final" descent to the destination that is my true self and my ideal life. The one that will allow me to simply be me. The one that isn't afraid to say what's on her mind. The one that feels fully and truthfully. The one that is present and experiences life as it happens rather than staying stuck between the past and future.
It feels so good to almost be there. It's taken so long. Lots of shit. Lots of work. But it's been so fucking worth it and I wouldn't trade it for the world because in this moment the Real Gabby can emerge.
Welcome to the world my love <3